Self-Pity & Apathy: The Personal Space of God, Elijah and Jonah

We all have our personal space.  These zones or boundaries, as Edward Hall in 1966 observed, measured personal space to be anything less than 1.5ft.  The zones vary from culture to culture and personal experience.  I'm sure an introvert like me has a different length of personal space than an extrovert.

I say all this because something made me think about the personal space we tend to give God or not give God.  What zone is God in our lives.  For an atheist it will be different than for a theist or Christian.  However, even for a Christian who has the Holy Spirit in his or her heart, do we at times try to push away or even run away from God and seek seclusion from Him?  From the story of one such as Jonah that seems to be true.  As a believer there are times we can run away from God or seek to fill our lives with things of the world and/or the flesh  to push God  to the fringes of not just our intimate space where He is foremost in our thoughts, prayers, worship, and love, but the fringes of personal space and even social space.  A Christian can be like the atheist and seek to push God into just the "public space" of church or the general public.  Even then the Christian or run away believer who has become more theist or agnostic may seek to push away or run away from God than the atheist or agnostic who has never believed and be more open to the things of God.

In the stories of both Elijah and Jonah, both men at some point in their story and walk with God run into a moment of severe self-pity and apathy about their situation and God's heart for others.  It is in this moment that they either are given or find the solace of God and a shaded tree.  To me a shade can be something that isn't just a covering, but the shadow of a tree is a salve for the skin against a sometimes harsh sun.  Something so large casts a shadow that touches the intimacy of our space, our skin, our thoughts and our well-being.  Even in scripture the shadow of His wing (Psalm 91:4) is symbolic of His protection and care. Elijah and Jonah both have become apathetic toward God's people, frustrated with their situation, and both seek death from God.  It is in this that they both seek shelter and recluse from the city.  Elijah finds a tree to sleep under and God through His angel provides and takes care of Elijah.  Jonah builds himself a shelter, but God gives him more shade through a miraculous tree to give Jonah.  God goes to where they are at, their low point and seeks to comfort them.  The Holy Spirit does the same for us everyday.  Seeking to comfort.  Jesus did the same to Peter in seeking to minister and talk to Peter after his bitter betrayal toward Jesus.  Yet, Elijah enters into this care and rest with a self-pity and apathy that still sorrowed for the people who rejected God.  Jonah enters into this care and rest with self-pity and apathy that gives no sorrow for the people who do not know God, but sorrow for himself.  It is self-focused, but yet God still seeks to reach out to Jonah, to teach Jonah, to love upon and comfort Jonah like a spoiled child who doesn't see the greater picture beyond his own nose.  Is it in this where God seeks to both teach each men about His nature.



God sought to enter and be with them to comfort them in that very personal space.  Elijah sought to let him in by not seeking his own flesh, but mourning the faithlessness of others and allowing God to teach him.  Jonah while seeking to flee from God to the point of death still sits and pushes God from the intimacy of his heart by seeking to fill his heart of selfish flesh and possibly not listening to what God is trying to teach him.  Bill LaClair states that God's presence is the cure for spiritual apathy.  I believe this to be true, but of the Christian continues to push out God from his or her personal space, then God's presence cannot be utilized by that believer.  The Holy Spirit continues to mourn over the sin and allow the believer to go further astray if that is what he or she seeks.

I have felt a certain dose of self-pity and apathy this last month.  It has been a mixed bag of both being in the flesh and selfish and pushing God further out and also seeking His close intimacy to learn about His nature, to allow Him to heal me, to comfort me, and to guide me.  Many times I have overlooked His comfort in its many forms or taken it for granted.   Then I may cry about my situation when that comfort or "shade" is gone like Jonah and go into more self-pity rather than acknowledging His goodness of gifts and mourning for those who reject the Gifts He brings and offers freely.